The Poignant, the Piquant and the Painful, Great One Liners From Films

It's time again for movie one-liners. Long time readers of this blog (both of us) are well acquainted with my fondness for great lines from movies. Recalling a quip, stirring, statement, probing question or insightful observation from a film can evoke an entire scene or indeed the feeling of the film itself. On six previous occasions I have published some of my favorite lines. I draw your attention to the right side of this blog (as your facing the computer, if you're looking from within your computer it would, of course, be on the opposite or right side) for links to previous additions, all in the category of Quotes.

In the past I've had lines strictly from males or females and once solely from Woody Allen. But like some previous editions, this is a hodgepodge. So here they are, 20 lines from 20 different films.

Take Hitler and stick him on the funny page. - Cary Grant as Walter Burns in His Girl Friday (1940).

The Apaches, sir, are neither to the north nor the east. Nor are they in their encampment. But if you'da been watching the dust swirls to the south, like most of us, you'd see that they're right there! - John Wayne as Captain Yorke in Fort Apache (1948).

Now listen to me you benighted muckers. We're going to teach you soldiering. The world's noblest profession. When we're done with you, you'll be able to slaughter your enemies like civilized men. - Sean Connery as Daniel Dravot in The Man Who Would Be King (1975).

"Fanny" is Faneul H. Peabody, just the kind of man I've been looking for, lots of money and no resistance. - Aline MacMahon as Trixie Lorraine in Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933).

I'm dead, Bill. I just want to stay that way for awhile. - Warren Beatty as Joseph Frady in The Parallax View (1974).

Your imagination! You think every girl's a dope. You think a girl goes to a party and there's some guy in a fancy striped vest strutting around giving you that I'm-so-handsome-you-can't-resist-me look. From this she's supposed to fall flat on her face. Well, she doesn't fall on her face. But there's another guy in the room, over in the corner. Maybe he's nervous and shy and perspiring a little. First, you look past him. But then you sense that he's gentle and kind and worried. That he'll be tender with you, nice and sweet. That's what's really exciting. - Marylin Monroe as The Girl in The Seven Year Itch (1955).

I wondered if a memory is something you have or something you've lost. - Gena Rowlands as Marion Post in Another Woman (1988).

Well sure there is, it comes complete with diagrams on page 47 of how to be a detective in 10 easy lessons correspondent school textbook and uh, your father offered me a drink. - Humphrey Bogart as Philip Marlowe in The Big Sleep (1945).

I'd be lost without the weight of you two on my back. I ain't going anywhere. - Jennifer Lawrence as Ree in Winter's Bone (2010).

You know, you two girls have everything. You're tall and short and slim and stout and blonde and brunette. And that's just the kind of a girl I crave. - Groucho Marx as Captain Spaulding in Animal Crackers (1930).

What have I done? - Alec Guiness as Colonel Nicholson in Bridge on the River Kwai (1957).

Look, maybe we could do something else together. Mrs. Robinson, would you like to go to a movie? - Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin Braddock in The Graduate (1967).

That'll be the day. - John Wayne as Ethan Edwards in The Searchers (1956).

Love has got to stop some place short of suicide. - Walter Huston as Sam Dodsworth in Dodsworth (1936).

Yeah, I'm fine. I snapped my chin down onto some guy's fist and hit another one in the knee with my nose. - Woody Allen as Allan in Play it Again, Sam (1972).

Conscience... that stuff can drive you nuts! - Marlon Brando as Terry Malloy in On the Waterfront (1954).

Oh, I still do believe in God, old man. I believe in God and Mercy and all that. But the dead are happier dead. They don't miss much here, poor devils. - Orson Welles as Harry Lime in The Third Man (1949).

All I want is to enter my house justified. - Joel McCrea is Steve Judd in Ride the High Country (1962).

There's only one thing you can do with a girl like this. Walk naked into the sea together as the sun sets. Make love once... Then die. - Malcolm McDowell as Mick Travis in If...(1968).

It's becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. Whenever I start to tell a story, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I'm not so sure I'd be the mother. - Carole Lombard as Maria Tura in To Be or Not to Be (1942).